Jordan Castro and I left for Pittsburgh at 2:30 p.m. on Friday April 22
Jordan Castro and I left for Pittsburgh at 2:30 p.m. on Friday April 22
I drove my car while we listened to Lil Wayne’s cd “No Ceilings” and occasionally songs by Wacka Flocka Flame
I asked to listen to the Sidekicks cd titled “the Weight of Air” and then Rilo Kiley’s “Takeoffs and Landings”
After ~ 1 hour we were in Pennsylvania and we both had to pee
We took an exit called “Beaver Falls” and entered a small town
Immediately off of the exit we passed 3 motels, one of which was a bar, restaurant and motel
Jordan seemed really nervous about being in Beaver Falls
We passed a barn with a sign that said “Adult Bookstore” and another sign that said “Live Girls”
We parked at a convenience store and used the restroom
The doors in the bathroom went from the ceiling to the floor and were made of heavy wood
I hovered above the toilet seat and some of my pee got on the ground
Once I went back outside Jordan was leaning against my car
We hugged
I ate a Dark Chocolate Zone bar while driving
We drove for another hour
Eventually my GPS directed us into a hilly neighborhood with streets of garages
I imagined Anti-Flag playing basketball on one of the garage streets
My GPS directed us to “Maple Avenue”
Maple Avenue was a shitty ass street on a steep hill going down the side of a mountain
It was made of dirt and because it had been raining there were large puddles
I drove down the street and thought things like “jesus shit, my dirty ass white car is going to flip over”
The GPS said “you have reached your destination”
At the bottom of the hill was one house with 3 white vehicles
One van, one truck, and one broken down rusted white vintage sedan type car that had no wheels
Behind the house was an above ground pool with a dirty blue tarp covering it
There was a sign that said “CAUTION CHILDREN AT PLAY” with a sign of someone running
I felt scared and tried to imagine if it would be easy to escape if I became trapped in the basement of the house
I decided no
Jordan called Daniel who we were supposed to be meeting in an hour or so
Jordan asked Daniel if we were at the right house
Daniel said no and told Jordan to talk to Eileen
Jordan described to Daniel’s friend Eileen where we were, she told us we were ~ 25 minutes away from her house
I felt angry at my GPS and began to take it out on Jordan as Eileen directed us to her house
I drove aggressively and signed excessively
Eventually we parked at a school and Jordan hugged me
I apologized
Jordan told me I had chocolate on my face
After wiping the chocolate off of my face we walked into an apartment building numbered 118
Daniel met us on the stairs and told us we should move my car to the other parking lot
Jordan offered to and Daniel told me Eileen was on the top floor through the door on the left
I went to the top floor and knocked on a door that was numbered 6
An attractive dark haired woman answered the door and introduced herself as Eileen
I saw a cat and asked her what its name was while petting it
She said a name i forget what it was
I saw Noah Cicero sitting on her couch and felt relieved and said “hi”
Eileen asked if we knew each other and we said yes
In a kind tone of voice she asked me to sign her copy of Cute
I drew Eileen’s cat on the inside of her Cute
I sat down on the couch next to Noah
Noah was wearing a black t-shirt and looked really young
Daniel and Jordan arrived and we sat and I listened to Daniel, Jordan and Noah talk about Pear Noir
Eileen had Daniel pass her copys of Pear Noir to her
Eileen placed her copys on the table
The cat rubbed its face on the Pear Noirs
Daniel talked about the reading
We decided he would give a general introduction then as each reader went up they would introduce themselves
Noah said something about being Jack Kerouac
I said “you should smoke a cigarette while you read”
Daniel said something about not being sure if they allowed smoking there
Eileen said she smokes but can run marathons
I imagined Eileen smoking while crossing a finish line with a number pinned to her shirt
We decided we were going to leave for the reading
Outside Daniel put an overhead screen that we could use for our slide show in my car
Jordan and I drove in my car and Eileen drove her car with Noah and Daniel in it
~ 15 minutes later we arrived at the venue we were going to be reading at
Jordan and I carried in our books, the projector and my art
Inside there was a bar, and then a restaurant, and then once you went up stairs there was a bigger room with chairs and a room it looked into up front
There were ~ 10 people upstairs
I asked someone sitting at a table that looked like they worked there where I should set the projector up
He told me to ask someone else and that man was rude
Eventually I told Eileen no one would help and that someone was rude and Eileen said “he’s intimidated by you” and then helped me carry a table to the room everyone was reading in
I put chords into outlets and pressed buttons
I donated a painting of many different colored guinea pigs to the raffle
Megan called Jordan and said they were parking
Jordan and I went outside and saw Megan’s car down the street
We tried to hide behind a trash can but Megan and Tao saw usThey stayed by the car when they saw us
Jordan and I gave up on hiding and walked over to them
We all hugged
Tao said he was hungry
We walked down the street looking for a place that would sell food he wanted but saw nothing
We decided we wanted to go to Whole Foods
Tao said there was one 15 minutes away
I went inside and told Daniel we were going to Whole Foods
He said we would start at 8, it was 7:30 then
I went back outside and we left for Whole Foods in my car
Tao used his iPhone to give me directions
Once we were there Megan said a rap about Panera that she had made
I said we should rap later that night
Megan said “yeah, we should”
I said “I could be the one that goes really fast and says nothing”
Inside of Whole Foods I picked up a Yerba Matte
Tao poured something that looked like chowder into the largest container they had
Megan picked up a “Kevita” drink that had a similar design to GT’s brand Kombucha
I put down the Yerba Matte and picked up a Green Tea KeVita
Jordan scooped seaweed salad into a small container
I looked for a bathroom but didn’t find one
We all went to the checkout line
Tao hit me with a shopping basket and I considered spitting on him
Jordan paid for his seaweed salad and my drink
Megan paid for her KeVita and some fruit I think
Tao ran away and came back with a large baguette
After he paid we left Whole Foods
In the car I played “Lil B” for Megan and Tao
Tao asked what does he think about Lil Wayne
I said I don’t know and then tried to think of all the rappers who’s names start with “Lil”
Lil John…
I began to feel stressed about being late to the reading
Daniel called Jordan and asked where we where
Jordan said close
~4 minutes later I parked my car and ran into the venue and informed Daniel we were back
There were a lot more people in chairs than before
I saw Noah standing by the bar
Daniel asked if he should start it then
I said yeah and ran to use the bathroom
Inside the bathroom I heard Daniel talking about readers from Baltimore, New York, Ohio and West Virginia
I then heard clapping and walked out of the bathroom
Jordan, Tao, Megan and I stood in the doorway watching Scott McClanahan
Scott McClanahan said loudly in a West Virginian accent “Do you believe?”
A girl wearing 4 clips in her hair, a red dress and black fishnets threw her hands in the air and screamed “I BELIEVE!”
Scott McClanahan said again “Do you believe?”
A couple more people responded
He then began to read something that kept my interest
He then did a magic trick with soup
I felt like he had a lot of friends in the audience that were women
Scott McClanahan was wearing a khaki colored suit with a light pink colored collared shirt
I felt really entertained
When Scott was done I went where he had been standing and said “I’m Mallory, I’m going to get some things ready really quick” while smiling and facing the people
I turned on the projector and things were brighterI opened Jordan’s laptop and clicked “View” then “Slide Show”
I started reading “Why You Shouldn’t Be A High School Algebra 1 Teacher”
I thought “I feel not nervous”
On the overhead was a picture I drew of a sweaty man
Jordan started saying something so I stopped and looked
He said use the microphone
I told everyone I was going to start over then read the story
People clapped then Jordan and I read a text message conversation we had about getting tattoos of things each other like on our butts
On the overhead projector there was a sub, chicken wings, and blunts
People laughed
Jordan then told the audience we made a book together called Cute
He started to read from Cute and I made the projector show pictures that went with the poems he read
I watched people’s faces
Everyone except ~ 5 people seemed amused
Once Jordan was done I turned off the projector and Jordan read alone
When Jordan read a poem that mentioned consuming a large combination of drugs, Noah Cicero laughed very loudly from the bar area
I felt great that Noah was laughing loudly and began to laugh harder
I felt in love with Jordan
Jordan finished reading then introduced “the lovely Megan Boyle”
Megan went up and read an article that was published on Thought Catalog called “How To Be Alone”
I noticed 2 very serious old women in the front row looking unamused
I would look at their faces after Megan said anything about drugs or masturbating
They maintained unamused faces and shifted their hands from resting around their bellies to their sides
The girl with 4 hair clips and a red dress with fishnets underneath that earlier yelled “I BELIEVE” squatted down infront of Jordan to take pictures of Scott McClanahan
A minute or so later she put her ass in the air with her back arched so that her ass was crotch level with Jordan and slowly picked up her camera and stood up fully
She touched her hair and walked away
I laughed uncontrollably and Jordan said “seemed sexual” a few times
Megan finished reading and it was then Noah’s turn
I felt really excited to see Noah read
Noah began reading off a sheet of paper and announced to everyone that his hand was twitching
I offered to hold his paper for him and Noah accepted my offer
I grabbed the paper and Noah showed me where to hold it
I focused really hard on not twitching
Noah talked about his mom coming to his book signing
People laughed frequently
I looked at the words and read them while listening to Noah say some of them
We stood in front of the people and when he was done people clapped
I quickly packed up the projector and Jordan’s laptop as someone came up to introduce a new section of readers
I picked a raffle ticket out of an envelope for someone
I read the number into the microphone and a person said “that’s me”
I walked away with the things I packed up into the back room
The room was dark with a pool table
The room was within hearing distance of the new people reading
I didn’t see Megan in the room
Jordan and Tao were talking about an orgy
I said yeah seems good
Jordan seemed hesitant and Tao said he wanted to film it
I said no and felt really nervous imagining people seeing me having sex with them
Jordan said “no she’s 17” in a voice like he was really concerned about that
Tao said “we can black out her face”
Someone said it wasn’t going to happen if we didn’t film it
I said “no I’m not doing that” and began to think it was funny
I left the room to get my Kevita drink that I had put on the floor earlier
When I came back Megan was in the room
We took a white ball off the pool table and took turns doing rituals with the ball then passed it to the other person
The other person was supposed to imitate the ritual the other person preformed
When it was my turn I acted like the ball was soap
After that I didn’t know what else to do with it
There was a cup of soup in the room from Scott McClanahan’s magic trick
I held the white ball above the cup of soup and said “should I?”
Someone from behind me said “DO IT!” in a loud whisper
I turned and the guy who’s ticket I picked for the raffle was sitting on a chair with a girl looking at me
I dropped the ball into the soup and a little spilled on the table
Megan wiped up the soup while I got the ball back out
I said “now what?” and began to feel nauseus
We talked about switching people in the cars on the way home
I wanted to drive my car still and so did Megan
We vaguely decided Jordan would go in Megan’s car and Tao would go in mine
I stood around and drank my Kevita
I informed everyone I was going out to the car to eat a tofurkey sandwich then walked downstairs
Someone jumped out and made a loud noise and people looked
I saw tao and said I was going to go eat a sandwich and would be back in
I never went back in because I liked the coldness outside and Daniel started talking to me about self publishing
“I don’t want to publish myself, that seems a little…” and then he wrinkled his face
I tried to remember if I had ever read any of Daniel’s writing
I told him he should “seems why not” or something
I noticed two men staring at me and interpreted them as scary
They were standing ~ 10 feet away
I moved to the other side of Daniel
Eileen started to talk to me
I showed her my art and she picked out a piece that was pictures of vegetables for her friend named Willow
She asked how much and I said a few dollars but she said something about robbery and gave me $20
I felt really good
While she was talking about something her friend looked at Tao swinging around a cigarette trash mechanism and said “he probably doesn’t want to be doing that” in a way like he was a little kid eating poop or something
Eileen said she wanted to take a picture of us with Daniel
Tao and I stood on either side of Daniel and Eileen took a picture
I was still holding my sandwich
Jordan and Megan and Scott McClanahan came outside
Eileen said she wanted to take a picture of everyone
I got on Jordan’s back and people stood mostly to the right of us
I made my whole body limp so I would look like a dead carcass on Jordan’s shoulders
I expressed to Jordan that I wanted to leave soon
People moved away from each other and I talked to Eileen more
She expressed that she was nervous about the bartender noticing she was drinking outside
I said I didn’t know that was illegal
~ 5 minutes later the bartender came outside and tapped her on the shoulder and told her “you gotta get in with that”
I stood there and looked around while people talked
I went inside to see if we had sold any chapbooks
I came outside and told Jordan we didn’t and that I wanted to leave
I stood around moreMegan and Tao pointed their iPhones at Jordan
I took pictures with my iTouch of the person who’s name I pulled out of the raffle
The two men I was scared by weren’t by the pizza shop anymore
I walked a few steps towards the pizza shop
People said something about leaving
I hugged Scott McClanahan and Daniel and Eileen goodbye
I said “nice to meet you” to a couple people
Jordan, Tao, Megan and I walked to our cars
I felt nervous Jordan would die on the way home
I kissed him and asked him for a Zone bar
He gave me a Zone bar and kissed me again and went to Megan’s car
I waited for Tao to get in my car
I began to back out and almost hit a car
Tao asked what we should listen to
I think I said Best Friends Forever or Rilo Kiley
We listened to somethingI focused on driving
At a red light Tao threw a clementine at Megan’s car but it missed
We talked about my sketchbook
We talked about what Megan and Jordan could be talking about, which was probably about what we could be talking about
We stopped at a gas station with Jordan and Megan
I realized we had accidentally stolen Daniel’s projector screen
We were more than 30 minutes away
I didn’t want to turn around
Jordan bought me a Smart Water inside the gas station
I spent $15 on gas
We got back in cars
I continued to follow Megan’s car back to Solon
At one point she swerved and then Jordan threw a cigarette butt out the window
Tao and I talked about Bebe Zeva and Poncho Peligroso and Andrew Weatherhead
We talked about who we talk to on the internet
I realized I don’t talk to people on the internet on a regular basis
We talked about how often we do drugs
We talked about what our parents think about drugs
We talked about how often we hangout with Megan or Jordan
I told Tao someone at my school asked if he was emo and I said “I don’t know, no”
Tao said “you don’t think I’m emo?” in a way that made me feel like we have different understandings of the word “emo”
I said when I thought of emo I thought of overly dramatic emotional people
He said oh and then played emo songs from his iPhone
He tilted his seat back and tried to sleep
I sang quietly to some songs
We talked about Chris Burrows
We listened to Chris Burrows
We talked about Johnny Hobo
We listened to Johnny Hobo
I began to feel extremely tired
I hit myself in the face and said “I need to wake up”
Tao helped me hit myself in the face
We listened to Nana Grizol
Jordan called my phone and asked if we should stop at Giant Eagle
I said yes
Inside I couldn’t tell if anyone was working or not
I thought they left the store unlocked
We walked in and saw a worker on a Zamboni type machine and I realized it was open
Tao and I looked for cereal and milk
I saw canned goat milk and touched the can
I found Jordan and hugged him and felt exhausted
We used self-checkout and bought “Vanilla Sunrise” cereal and rice milk
Megan bought various vegetables
Jordan and Tao galloped outside
I walked outside a little bit later
Tao was holding a lot of batteries and tea tree oil
We waited for Megan
Megan walked outside with a bag of vegetables
Megan said she wanted to drive to a gas station to get something
We realized an old male employee was watching us
We got in our cars
I stared back at the old male employee and drove a certain way so he would see my license plate for the shortest amount of time possible
Tao and I arrived at Jordan’s house and I showered while we waited for Jordan and Megan
